Dan was never really sure if he liked the jungle. He liked the heat but hated the amount of bugs. The elephant bug was the biggest. He had 6 wings and a trunk which was very out of proportion to the rest of it. How it flew had naturalists confused and sexed up.

Let’s get this straight, it was more of a nuisance than a threat; it ate the leaves of the daffodil tree. They were the sweetest juiciest leaves in the entire jungle. They were heart shaped and were very addictive. This in turn made the Elephant bug additive to the local tribe the, Muzzbags.

The Muzzbags loved the elephant bug. The bugs wings induced an intense high much like dishwasher liquid. This high was sped up by hanging upside down. The tribe elders were often seen hanging upside down from trees as the juice form the bug coursed through their veins. This was known as Ending.

The term Ending was coined by the great explorer John Goodtop. He tried the high and said it was like the end of the world. He hallucinated that the bees would rise up and take the power back. He knew bees are dying out and this will have major repercussions on the natural landscape but this he couldn’t care less. He was off his tits.

Oddly for Goodtop there are no bees in the jungle and it is thought that when he returned to the UK he was stung to death by bees. The news paper clipping of the day are very cagy about what happened. This didn’t stop rumours about his death spreading throughout the land.

For years after his death, bee keepers were treated as criminals and honey sales went through the floor. Apiarists soon realised this was not good for business so began to train the bees to defend their keepers as they would the queen.

There was of course one problem with this. The keepers had to cover themselves in pollen. The pollen was a synthetic material made in a factory by R J Skips and Son of Skipton. They were used to developing weapons for warfare and here they were making synthetic pollen. They used a mixture of human dust and arsenic to produce potent pollen that bees could get high on.

After many deaths due to poisoning, the arsenic was removed and replaced with ground Elephant bug. This gave the bees the same high as the arsenic but didn’t kill the Apiarists. Although it did make 65% lose the plot and start to listen to horn music. This is still an unproven fact.

Dan didn’t know any of this and he didn’t care. He was here to see how much of the jungle they could demolish to make way for a shopping mall.

Categories: Stories


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