I like to people watch, who doesn’t? There are some oddballs out there. I like to people watch with a difference. I like to people watch while in the car park of Tesco (or other supermarkets). Here you will find a really mixed bunch of people. I like to do it in towns where they only have one or two supermarkets. That way you should see every type of person form that town.

Here are my tips for great people watching at the supermarket and who to look out for:

  •  Park facing paths. This is the usual route in and out of the place for those on foot. Here you will find the nutty youths and random walkers
  • Try and be near the disabled or parent and child spots. This is where you’ll find the BMW’s that don’t give a shit as long as they only have 2 feet to walk, yet will happily spend £60 at the gym.
  •  Keep an eye on empty spaces. Here you can try and work out what a person is like by the car they drive and how they park. Often they stick to stereotype.
  • Those returning to cars in couples make for an excellent relationship viewing. Who has the power in the relationship, my favs are the brow beaten men who push the trolley, fill the car, put the trolley back and drive the car, while the “lady” swans around either smoking or eating.
  • (non £1 trolleys) The trolley leavers, These creatures will fill their car and then leave the trolley on the path cos they are too lazy or mean to put it back (those supermarkets with £1 trolleys this does not work)
  •  ( £1 trolleys) Watch as people struggle to work out how to get a trolley or put it back.
  • The Trolley wally can often be seen wondering up and down the car park in a state of bliss…. I say bliss, I just mean high. These are often confused by people trying to park or simply get around there long length of trolleys.
  • The youth, seem to like to hang around the front of a supermarket. In my day it was bars or McDonalds. In the 21st century it’s the 24hr glow of a supermarket that brings them in. They sit outside which their bikes, skateboards or scooters. Finding everything hilarious with their 75p milkshakes.
  • The scoter gangs. Old enough to get a bike license but not a car, and they always feel the need to put a 100db attachment on. These can been see later on at night driving up and down the car park in packs.
  • Also late at night, the performance car club. They will park at the back away from the supermarket with all their doors and windows open, playing the latest hit from MC ShitStain. Again they have a pack mentality as this hides their lack of penis as does screeching their tyres.
  •  New families. Usually 2 brand new parents taking their new born to the supermarket for the first time. These can be spotted at carefully taking the baby seat out of the car and loading it into the special trolley. As the baby gets older there is a lot more swinging involved.

Please let me know if I have missed anything, there of course plenty of different categories of people, but they are for you to find, like the scrote shop lifter or the drunk alcoholic. Just pick your game card up in next week’s News of the World.
Categories: Random


Nicki · 28 July 2011 at 21:36

What about the mad old couple who argue all the way from the car exactly what veg to have with their dinner??… Or is it just me that gets stuck behind them??

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